Scared to start greiving cuz it's getting hard to block and hold it in, how can i cope (re: Michael Jackson)?

I have been saddened by the death fo Michael Jackson but when I even begin to really think about his loss, I feel anxiety like I will break down and lose control so I am always trying to prevent myself from bringing my feelings to the surface by not really thinking about it and letting it sink in. Will this work in the long run or am I about to break down? What should I do? I'm scared to tell my family because they already think I am taking his death to seriously as it is but they have no idea how I'm bottling it all up :(